When Real Life Interrupts: Maintaining Separate Images & Personas
Nov 10 2008 
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I am officially 21. My birthday was this past Friday and I want to take the time to thank you all for the well wishes and gifts. I’ve gotten a ton of both.
For my birthday I partied hard with my friends Friday and Saturday night. However, I encountered a dilemma on Sunday when I decided to upload my birthday pictures and I’d like to hear your thoughts on what you’d do in such a situation.
Some of us have completely separate lives on the web. I for one use an online alias for various reasons. I’m starting to get to the point where it’s become quite a task to keep up these two personas. However, they really aren’t all that different. Corvida talks a lot about technology and my real name (which I will not reveal yet) is a smart mouth who enjoys getting down and dirty with her friends. Shocking, I know. Otherwise there isn’t much of a difference between what I portray online versus online.
Regardless, the smart mouth is who celebrated her birthday. Not Corvida. So my pictures are not necessarily vulgar, but I think some of my online friends would be shocked to see this side of me. It made me think twice about the persona that I have online versus what my friends physically near me get to see.
Only a handful of my online friends knew what I’d planned for my birthday and those friends weren’t all that surprised. This is because they’ve seen the “other” side of me. The side of me that’s not all tech. The side of me that loves rap music, girls, and who is a bit of a…flirt. As you read this things may seems innocent enough. However, I just turned 21 and had no intentions of being innocent for my 21st birthday. I may be 21 for the next year, but you only turn 21 once! So my pictures resemble this not so innocent persona. I’m at odds on whether or not to upload my pictures on Flickr. I don’t want to pick and choose which pics should go and which pictures to keep to myself. Yet, I ave a reputation and image to maintain. Despite the privacy options that Flickr offers, it just isn’t enough for this dilemma.
So what’s a woman to do?
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Corvida,
I know how you feel! I'm 19 (almost 20!) and I've had an incredibly difficult time figuring out what's professional enough to go online and what's not. I'm all for transparency in the workplace, but how much transparency is TOO much transparency? Plus, like it or not, people still take you more seriously if, well, you portray yourself seriously.
My current blog is a mix of personal and professional, but I've been trying lately to make the shift to more posts about technology and social media, which is what I'd like to write about, career-wise. But I also love connecting to my readers on a personal level, and I miss writing more intimately about my life. I've thought about starting a second blog so that I can completely separate the two, but it's hard not to let one seep into another, especially when they're so closely tied (after all, blogging and social media sort of IS my life!)
At the moment, it's just a giant conglomeration of the two. Let me know if you figure it out. :P
That's exactly how this blog started off. A mix of the both and then I shifted to more social media and tech stuff. I can always tie it in with my personal life since like you it is a huge part of my life. But there's always those moments that are completely random that you'd loved to share. I've built more of a professional image than personal so it's tough to decide.
I will tell you that I'm leaning towards not posting them. I have way too many pics to sort through and regardless of what anyone says, even though the pics wouldn't be public for those that are my friends on Flickr, it could have some side affects.
I used to have a similar view when I was younger and was likely to do more damage to a professional reputation. The exception was that the acronyms were used for the more personal things online.
Eventually you get tired of the sorting and do what you want. Not rushing you, but I understand…on all fronts.
a) happy birthday!
b) I struggle with the same thing. For me, facebook is my “social” space and I rarely connect with my professional connections on there. That's where I'm more casual and candid. I wouldn't post about drinking or partying online under my “official” SN
I've hit that point too — I decided I was going to just be me. What you see online == me offline. Sure there are some things I keep to myself, but otherwise it's just too much hassle.
Even though I too have separate Identities I still have some type of restraint when talking about or saying certain things.
I can be opinionated and obnoxious at times, but I'm careful not to take things too far.
I wouldn't post the pictures. There have been too many controversies from inappropriate facebook or flickr images that came from a party.
I put the pictures up on my “real” facebook account because that's a private profile with a lot of the privacy options enabled. I'm also very careful of who I accept as friends there. In turn, I created a Facebook account for my Corvida alias to separate the two.
When I was younger, this issue didn't arise, as there was no Internet on which I could inadvertently bare my all.
I'd probably have been more likely to get myself into trouble back then, as for one, I liked to play hard in those days; plenty of late nights, well ok early mornings quite often, and plenty of booze flowing too. I'd have been a champion of those stupid drunken grinning facebook albums!
These days , I lead a rather more sober sedate lifestyle, and I can't remember the last time I was sitting up to see the dawn with another beer in my hand.
Also, then, as a somewhat angry young man, I'd have been more inclined to post rants about those that had got me mad during the day, boss included.
These days, I woke for myself, so I have no boss, but I do have clients, some of which might find me online. I wouldn't go bad-mouthing them in public even if I felt like it, as it's not the professional thing to do, in any case.
Perhaps it's good, the Internet wasn't around when I was in my teens and twenties!
But what about the professional you Shey?
This is how I currently make a living and I have no intentions of doing anything to lose the opportunities I have, especially over my 21st birthday photos.
What do people expect me to do for my 21st birthday? Just eat cake and drink some wine?!
lol perhaps. At least you wouldn't have this dilemma on your hands!
I think that's a concern that everyone has, especially with employers becoming more and more social media literate. Nowadays its just a fact of life that you have to be cognisant of what you post online.
Those things I keep to myself, are usually just for me and my closest friends.
I know what you mean. I removed a LOT of photos a few years ago that I had collected and posted up online during college. Especially now glad I did given that I'm 4 years out and looking to advance my career. The me in those photos was college me, not now me. If that makes sense.
But anyway, happy birthday and welcome to the bars :)
-Adam
One way that I used to get around this was by creating a separate password-protected photo album and sharing that with specific friends. I don't know if you can do that on flickr, but smugmug.com allows you to set viewer passwords. I'm sure there is some website out there that will give you a free photo album with password protection. Otherwise, you can create an album under another name or on a different website and only send that link to the people you're okay sharing with. You'd just have to hope that no one randomly stumbles upon it.
Happy Birthday!
(I'm turning 21 in a week and will wrestle with the same dilemma)
I operate under a psuedo-anonymous handle as well. It's not hard to find my real name, but you have to want to do it. I misbehave a little, but I'm almost always aware that anything can and probably will be held against me when I'm ready to move on. That means I'm not as bad as I wanna be.
Happy 21st! This is kind of tough but if it were me, I wouldn't post the pics. Maybe that's because I'm such a private person…and I don't like pictures. Well…ok…I'm biased….lol.
Corvida,
Recent reader and first time commenter. Happy belated Birthday.
I don't have the history with you that some of your other commenters do, but from reading your post it really sounds like you've answered your own question. While you may feel that it's your right as a 21 year old to party and have a good time (and it is), you also aknowledge that there could be some unintended professional consequences from posting pictures of the debacle, umm party. So it sounds like to me your online professional presence is pretty important to you. You've let yourself have the fun you deserve given your age, now it's time to look at priorities: is it more important to post your pictures or protect your online profession and integrity. Only you can answer that, but from your post I'm betting you pick the latter.
So help me with a dilemma. I'm at the opposite end of the spectrum. I'm 49 and and working professional. I've had a fairly successful blog related to a hobby, and I run a blog for my employer. A few months ago I started my own personal blog, which I may or may not try to monetize sometime in the future.
I've been on LinkedIn for quite a while and found it very useful. Since I sometimes write about social networking tools, I created an account on Facebook a few months ago. Well, you can guess the rest of the story. High school classmates found me, old drinking buddies found me along with current business colleagues.
So my question is this: without creating an “alias” as you have, how do you participate in LinkedIn AND Facebook communities without impacting your professional standing? Facebook is a great tool, I'm just not sure how to handle the diverse mix of friends.
Congratulations on 21 – your best years are truly in front of you…
The days of maintaining separate personas are nearing an I end I feel. Authenticity derives from people feeling like they know you and not a fake you.
I think a way to avoid a situation such as this current picture dilemna is to just be yourself online and off. Let people get to know you, wherever they are (as long as you trust them to a degree!).
I'm gonna advise you to only put up photos you wouldn't mind your grandma or a future employer seeing. We all live at least part of our lives on the web, so alot more is considered acceptable today than it would have been say, five years ago. However, there is some stuff that should remain between you and your nearest and dearest. Just use your judgement.
I adopt a take me or leave attitude these days. If I go out and bring your name into disrepute, I can fully understand you don't want me to work for you; if however, I do what many folks do, and have too much to drink at a party, and make a bit of an ass of myself, in my own time, that's my business, and if you want someone that is wooden and straight-laced ALL the time, then we'll probably not work well together anyway.
Hi Corvinda, good post, quite the modern dilemma :) I can relate, I am 29 and quite tattooed having worked in the music industry for a long time, now I find myself working on a parenting site (and being a Mum). Love my tattoos, no doubt, but I refrain from posting images of myself of this nature because unfortunately as it is – people do discriminate and develop pre-conceived notions about you – and a reputation is a very hard thing to shake. Some people/companies might instantly dismiss you for a promotion. Although there are quite a few very tattooed men as work, I still feel discrimination is at play for women.
I say keep them private and work more on amalgamating your personas.
Good luck.
Corvida–my advice is to post a few, but keep the really down and dirty ones in an area marked friends and family only (or whomever you want). In other words be yourself, but don't hit everyone too hard.
Hi there Corvida :)
I wrote a sort of follow-up answer post on my blog, in short my answer is show everyone your personalities, both are you, and just because you show one part of yourself here, doesn't mean readers can't be aware of the other :)
hi corvida!
21 is such a great age to discover one's self. congratulations on your “two” personas, its still healthy to maintain separate interests in one character. have fun, don't be apologetic for being alive :)
Some people/companies might instantly dismiss you for a promotion FOR THIS.
Hi Cordiva, This is a great question that more folks should be asking themselves. Im 38 years-old and believe that I have sorted my way through this dilemma over the past 10 years or so. I've decided that maintaining multiple personas online is unhealthy and unrealistic. Here's my advice:
1) Focus on the person you want to be. This sounds new-age kooky, but it's legit. If you are going to be embarrassed by a picture of you, think about stopping the embarrassing behavior, rather than the photograph. The older you get, the easier this gets.
2) Never post anything online that could be damaging to you professionally or personally. Avoid posting questionable content about your friends and ask them to do the same for you.
Note that this doesn't mean you should mix your professional and personal information online. On your professional blog, for instance, it's a good idea to keep personal information to a minimum; simply because the personal stuff is not interesting for most of your readers. So, it's perfectly reasonable to have personal and professional “spaces” online – but don't attempt to maintain them as separate identities. Call them what they are – different spaces targeted at different consumers – but all different facets of the same you.
That sounds to be a great birthday celebration. Look forward to see those photos !
Happy belated 21st birthday. Hey, can you picture yourself 21later……get the picture??? Anyway, you have a long road ahead and you have already come this far.
Happy belated 21st birthday. Hey, can you picture yourself 21years later……get the picture??? Anyway, you have a long road ahead and you have already come this far. Congrats for that.
Happy belated 21st birthday. Hey, can you picture yourself 21years later……get the picture??? Anyway, you have a long road ahead and you have already come this far. Congrats for that.